Meet Alyson
I used to know exactly who I was.
I was deeply connected — to myself, to nature, to something bigger than myself. I felt everything. I trusted what I felt. I knew who I was, and I manifested things that seemed impossible because of it. Then I became a scientist. And I learned to turn it off.
Not all at once, but slowly. I wanted to be taken seriously. I didn’t want to be seen as “the emotional woman” in a masculine field. While I entered the field because I was passionate about it, somewhere along the way, I began to believe that if I wanted to be a good scientist, I couldn’t also have emotions and values - that emotion and intuition had no place alongside science. So I learned to observe without feeling, to analyze without trusting, to stay objective above all else. And I became very good at it. I earned my PhD, built a career I loved and dedicated myself to meaningful work.
Looking back, I can see that my protective patterns quietly took the lead. Achievement became louder than intuition. Thinking became louder than feeling. Doing became louder than being. I didn't realize I was losing myself.
By 2015, though, my body knew something I didn't.
I was working 15-hour days, driven by a deep passion for my work—and by patterns I couldn't yet see. I had become so disconnected from my body that I no longer noticed its basic needs. I forgot to eat. Forgot to drink. Forgot to use the bathroom. Sleep became optional. Stress and exhaustion became normal.
I asked to be laid off during a restructuring because I could feel, somewhere deep inside I couldn’t keep living this way.
When I left my career, everything became quiet. Without the constant doing, I finally had the space to hear the questions that had been waiting beneath the surface.
Who am I? What do I believe? What do I truly value? Who am I when I'm not achieving?
I used to know. Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten. It was then that I understood what had happened. In all the striving, achieving, and, performing, I had become disconnected from the very things that had once made me feel most alive — my intuition, my emotions, my connection to myself, my belief in something greater.
I knew she was still there. I just didn't know how to reach her. So I turned to the only strategy I knew anymore. Finding the answer.
I researched. I optimized my diet and exercise routine. I removed the chemicals. Read the books. Eventually, I went back to yoga, meditation, spirituality, and self-development. Always hoping the next answer might bring me back to myself. It never did.
Five years after leaving my career, my body finally demanded I listen.
Long COVID arrived in December 2020 and stopped everything.
I was later diagnosed with mold toxicity, Lyme disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, debilitating anxiety, insomnia, and a growing list of frightening symptoms. I immersed myself in every healing approach I could find. Eventually, I discovered self-directed neuroplasticity and nervous system healing. For years, I committed wholeheartedly to retraining my brain and learning to regulate my nervous system. That work was foundational. It gave me hope. It gave me understanding. Those years transformed the way I understood healing.
And still...something was missing.
I no longer lived in constant survival. But I still couldn't fully feel joy. Or pleasure. Or even the love I knew I had for my family.
I wasn't fully alive yet.
It was feminine embodiment that finally brought me home.
I didn't understand what feminine embodiment was when I first discovered it. I only knew something inside me stirred—a spark I hadn't felt in a very long time. I followed that spark, enrolling in a year-long Feminine Embodiment Coaching Certification. Not because I wanted another credential, but because I wanted to feel more. More alive. More joy. More love. More pleasure. I wanted to be ravished by life again.
Three weeks after my father died, in the middle of some of the deepest grief of my life, I felt pleasure for the first time in years.
Alongside the grief. Not instead of it. With it.And I understood something at an entirely new level. Through years of nervous system healing, I had already learned that healing wasn't simply about getting rid of symptoms. It was about coming home to ourselves. But I still couldn’t get there.
It was through feminine embodiment—and especially through the practice of pleasure—that I finally began to experience what I had understood intellectually. As I continued practicing, my capacity expanded.
I could feel more. Love more. Grieve more. Experience more pleasure. Become more fully myself.
And as that capacity grew, my symptoms gradually disappeared.
That is the work I now have the privilege of offering others now. Not because I found a magic answer. But because I discovered that true healing isn't just about calming the nervous system. It's about reconnecting with the body, expanding our capacity to feel. And remembering the person who has been there all along.
If you find yourself somewhere in this story, I would be honored to walk alongside you.
My Credentials
PhD in the Sciences
Feminine Embodiment Coaching Certification (FECC) — Jenna Ward | Level 2, First Cohort
Sensual Embodied Dance Facilitator Training (In Process)— Holly Woodowski
Primal Trust™ Guide, supporting members in nervous system, trauma healing, and embodiment around the world